going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
