he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
