I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
