You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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