I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
