I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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