We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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