come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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