if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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