he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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