its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
