Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
