Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
