38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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