Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
