Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize