everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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