Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Semen is not good for contacts.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
