i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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