this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
