Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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