standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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