hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
