dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize