he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
