so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
