I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
