i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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