fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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