she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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