i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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