I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He kissed a someone with a penis
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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