I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
