How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
