So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
