i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
