he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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