why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Randomize
