I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
