Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize