Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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