So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
