Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
