I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
