Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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