I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I think people are normalizing furries
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
