A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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