walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
