so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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