Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
