Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
