did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
