Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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