Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
