She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
