It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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