Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
