i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
